bad kids??

I have been getting calls to substitute more lately, and for one class in particular. I do not enjoy going to this class for many many reasons. The school that it is at is the bad part of town, where there is a lot of poverty, drugs, and violence. This is not a good neighborhood for kids to be growing up in, and I'm sure they don't have a lot of good role models to look up to on a day to day basis, let alone a good parent figure that is there giving them the care and love they need daily. This may be a reason why these kids act out the way they do.
I've always believed that there's no such thing as a bad kid. All kids want to be good and get approval from the people that they look up to. The kids in this class, however, have made me doubt my beliefs because there's really no other word to describe them than bad or mean. They go up to each other and call each others mamas gay or call each other fat or say one is too dark or too light for no reason at all. They would do this while I was teaching a lesson. When I would tell them to sit down, they would smack their lips and roll their eyes at me and all I was thinking in my head is what in the world?!?! I would NEVER treat an adult like that, and these kids have no reason to be this mean to each other! Every other person in the school told me that they are the worst kids they've ever seen, there's no hope for them, they will not pass third grade (yeah, they're in third grade calling each other gay, bith, and flicking each other off), and that they're a bunch of bad kids. There were several kids that were in in school suspension the four days I was there, and they told me they're always in there. How are they supposed to pass if they're not in the classroom learning new material???
It's a sad situation to say the least. Poor Matt has heard me vent about them constantly when I come home, but he's sweet and gives me advice on how to handle them and listens to me when I'm complaining. I realize that these kids act bad and mean and tough, but I'm sure what they're really looking for is some attention. Unfortunately, they get negative attention because of their behavior, but don't seem to care because it's still some kind of attention. I kept one student near me while walking down the hall and during lessons because he got into less trouble that way and knew it, and he was fine like that for a while. Which confirms my belief that there's no such thing as a bad kid. They want to do good, it's just the environment that they're in that unfortunately can shape them into a trouble maker. I hope that the teacher of that classroom can have a positive affect on those kids, and I hope that people start believing in them. That way maybe they will pass third grade and go on to become something great, instead of a drug dealer, criminal, wife beater, etc. lifestyles that people in that neighborhood have fallen into.

Time Slips Away

Right now I'm taking classes online full time, working at a restaurant part time, substituting occasionally, and planning my wedding. Even though this is a lot of stuff to be doing, I sometimes feel that I am wasting precious time. I think that there are a lot of things I could be doing with my time rather than sitting on the computer looking at random people's Facebook status, or watching reruns of Friends and the Office. I always wanted to learn the guitar, so why not start now? I want to read a lot of different books, so why not start now? I think that a lot of times we take the time that we have for granted, and don't put it to good use. I know that I will not always have all day to stay at home, and work just a couple hours at night. I think that when I look back on these times where I do get to sit at home all day, I'll ask myself why I didn't do something more productive with my time. I'm going to try not to take advantage of my time anymore. The main reason I stay home all day is because everything outside of my home costs money. I have been exercising more and doing a lot of school work, but a good portion of my day consists of Facebooking and watching tv. I'm going to try to spend more time doing enjoyable things that aren't a waste of time. I'm going to try and do more school work during the day than not school work, so that I can finish before the semester is over. "Time wastes our bodies and our wits, but we waste time, so we are quits." ~Author Unknown

Ch-ch-changes

The last time I wrote a blog was February 2009. A lot of things have changed in my life since then. A lot of GREAT things have happened. First, I graduated from college with a B.S. degree in elementary and special education. It poured during the ceremony, but that made it all the more memorable. I was accepted into graduate school, and have just completed my first week of classes. I should have a master's degree in a year and half in elementary education. It's going to be hard work but it's going to be worth it. We've been to a bunch of concerts, including Dave Matthews, Billy Joel and Elton John, and Paul McCartney. We've been to Washington, D.C. where I've never been before. I got a tattoo. We've been to a bunch of baseball games, including the Phillies and Yankees. We've spent a lot of time with friends and family.

The biggest change that's happened is that I'm now happily engaged to my wonderful fiance. He proposed to me on June 11, 2009 in Saratoga, NY. It had been almost 4 years to the day that we had our first date. He took me where we went that day and said the most beautiful things to me, got down on one knee and popped the question. It was absolutely perfect- I couldn't have imagined a better way to do it.

Right now we're in the middle of planning our wedding. I'm so excited to get married and to see what other changes happen in our lives. By this time next year, we will be married. He will be finished grad school and will hopefully have a job in substance abuse counseling. I will be in my last semester of graduate school. Who knows where we'll go from there? I don't, and I like it that way. Change can be a scary thing, but in these cases it's a great thing.

Long Strange Trip

I am not the hugest grateful dead fan, but I do enjoy their music. I went to a concert last night for Valentine's day to see the grateful dead cover band and they played the song Truckin. I really listened to it for the first time, and thought that life really is a long strange trip. Things happen that you might not be aware are happening and the next thing you know your life is totally different. I love my life right now. Looking back I never would have thought that I would have ended up in NC living with the love of my life. I never thought I would meet a guy so great, but then one day who walks in to mangia cafe but the most amazing guy i had ever seen or met. the only reason he was there was because the other place he wanted to work wasn't hiring. who knows, if they were hiring, would we have met? it's a long strange trip. i was never really sure what i wanted to do when i grew up. i always kind of thought of a teacher, my dad always wanted me to go into business, i never knew. then i signed up for a course in child psychology and found it very interesting. i decided that i wanted to be a teacher. this wonderful man that i had just met was going to school in north carolina at a school that had an education program. he asked me to move in with him, i signed up for classes, and now i'm even more sure than ever that teaching is what i want to do. it's a long strange trip. i'm not sure where the trip will go next. i'm applying to graduate school, so hopefully that will work out. we're not sure where we'll move to after that, but wherever it is, as long as we're truckin together, i'll be happy. it's a long strange trip.

Be Thankful

Friday night, around 3am, a tornado hit down and completely destroyed several houses, damaged many more, and left one little boy dead. Tornadoes happen all the time, but this one happened 3 miles away, from where I was sleeping soundly (though I don't know how) in my bed, without a care in the world. Yesterday I drove by the damage, and saw only the front steps of one house remaining. The whole front of another house was completely gone. Many others had pieces of their roof torn off. There was another tornado that touched down about 30 miles away that did just as much damage, and also took someone's life.
It boggles my mind that this all happened 3 miles away. I take this road to go do laundry, my boyfriend takes this road to go to school and home everyday. I can't even imagine what these people went through, or are going through. I feel immensely lucky that the tornado did not last longer, and did not take my house or anyone that I care about. I couldn't imagine sleeping, and all of a sudden everything is gone.
When things like this happen, especially when they're so close to home, it makes you think. Why them? What did they do to deserve that? Why do tornadoes and hurricanes or anythign else deadly have to happen? How did I get so lucky? It's sad that it takes something like this to get people to start thinking in this way, and to get people to feel thankful for what they have. Yesterday our heat didn't work, and I was freezing cold all day. I complained a little, and my hands were like ice, but at least I have a home, and I could cuddle up with my wonderful boyfriend to warm up.
Thanksgiving is coming up (yay!) and it's around this time of year that everyone starts thinking about what it is that they're thankful for. It's great to get together with family and be thankful for everything you have. I think it's even greater when people think about what they're thankful for during other times of the year, not just at Thanksgiving, or when something horrible happens. I try to be thankful year-round because I am very fortunate to have the things I have. Sometimes I get caught up in life, and complain about simple things, even though I should be thankful that I have them (like heat). So basically, be thankful for what you have, and remember to be thankful year-round, because other people may not be as lucky and fortunate as you.

A memo to Southern Drivers

1. If the speed limit is 35- it means you can go anywhere from 35-45 it DOES NOT mean you go 25 or 30.

2. If there's a turning lane, USE IT!!

3. If you plan on turning soon, use a blinker!! I cannot read minds and I don't know why you're slamming on your brakes!

4. If you plan on pulling out into oncoming traffic, wait till there is PLENTY of time to pull out so you don't cut people off. If you MUST turn out right then, speed up quickly rather than pull out and go 15mph and make me slam on my brakes.

5. If there's someone trying to pull out, get over if you can.

6. McCain/Palin stickers- I'm sick of them and am SOO glad they're not leading this country.

7. If you're not going fast, don't be in the left lane.

8. If you're going slow and someone is behind you, GET OVER

9. If the light is turning yellow, it means to slow down and go under it. It does NOT mean to slam on your brakes before it even turns red!

10. Don't be dumb while you're driving! Stop slamming on your brakes for no reason, do the speed limit, and use a blinker!

Election Day

Today is election day. Most people are voting, some are not. As an American, it is your right to vote and I think that we take that for granted. Other countries do not get to vote for their leader. Someone is appointed, and they have to deal with it, for better or worse. But we are lucky enough to have a voice and to vote on who we think will be the best leader for our country. Some people may not vote because they think that one vote doesn't matter. Every vote does matter. The last election was won by only a few hundred votes. This election has been predicted to have teh most votes ever. There are more voters registered for this election than any other, and I hope they use their right and actually do vote.

I'm excited for this election. First, I'm excited to see who wins, and hopefully the right person (Obama) does! Second, I'm excited for it to be over with so I don't have to see any more political commercials. I understand that these people want to make a point, but some of these commercials are just mean. I think that if you're a politician, you should say what you're going to do, and how you're going to be a good leader, not what the other person doesn't do. There's a commercial down here bashing a Democratic Senator saying that she believes in a Godless America. That Senator is now sueing because it is totally false. A lot of these commercials are a bunch of bs and don't sway my vote either way. I'm more interested in what each candidate is telling me he can do, and why they would be good for the job.

I voted a few weeks ago for Obama through an absentee ballot because I think that he can do the most for our country. Yes John McCain was a war hero, and that's great, but he's also really old and the fact taht Sarah Palin would be his V.P. scares me a lot because she's not the brightest bulb on the tree if you know what I mean. Obama wants to tax the rich, and give tax breaks to people who don't make $250,000 a year. I understand that most of the people have worked hard to make their money and don't want to give it up now, but come on! If everyone gets a little more money and only those who are making mroe than enough give a little extra to help (think of it as charity) then I think most people will be more happy and this country may be a little more united (even though 1/2 the country is going to pissed about who wins no matter what).

I'm usually nto that into politics, but this election means something to me. It's the biggest election of my lifetime, and will probably impact me more than others have. For one, I'm graduating college this year, which means that I'll be getting a job while this president is in office. Also, I'm getting older and am thinking about family more and I would like a strong president when I start one of my own. These are two major issues that mean a lot to me, and based on what I've heard from both candidates, Obama will do more fo me. Either way, I'm excited to see who wins and I hope the right person does win, so we can all move on from the President we have now, and we can all stop bitching about who should win and insulting those who disagree!